Nurturing a Coven of New Friendships

The identification, keeping, and care of your ideal network of kindred souls.

At the time of my writing, today is my youngest brother's birthday, and I did not call him up to wish him a happy one.

My mother and I were discussing this earlier, and I remember her saying that she fully understood why I didn't bother to direct my energy towards someone who had nothing good in mind for me. In other words, she totally got why I decided to go on with my life today and decide to not think about someone who doesn't want to have anything to do with me.

Sad, sure. But he and myself are both choosing to follow our own peace in an environment full of our own suitable people, and you can't exactly go wrong doing that.

I've learned to do this from several hard lesson before, in different forms each time:

1. My father refuses to make his years of neglect and verbal and physical abuse towards me correct. So I removed him from taking up space as a figure in my life.

2. The ex who assaulted me decided that my words meant nothing to him. So, I let the law address it while I remain far FAR away, now honoring the greatest man that I know and the co-founder of my children.

You get the idea.

I truly cannot go on willingly giving away my energy and effort to people who are not My People, you know what I mean? I can appreciate the good available there, and I'm just fine with leaving the rest where it is.

And I'm blessed to say that the masses of My People are mine for so many different reasons. There's a myriad of serendipitous ways that I have become the kindred of others, and them to me. Some of these relationships are cherished just as you would imagine a familial connection is. They are just as dear and some even more strong than the bloodline tying a family close together.

Long ago I met a sweet girl my age for the first time while I was busy working for chump change in a retail shop, and I ended up attending her wedding later in that month. Interestingly, her husband had just taken my phone number in a romantic gesture weeks before without revealing his engagement to her, and when I saw him standing as the groom during their ceremony, I considered this a two-for-one type of deal in the friends economy.

A social media platform conversation with a lady about a meditation video that I had released led to another guest at my firstborn's First Birthday Party and hopefully now a new podcast guest of mine.

I met a guy online in high school and happened to met him in person at University while bumming cigarettes off of people between classes. Over a decade later, I've watched him transition to a her, and I couldn't be more supportive of her big career moves.

I also ended up accidentally dating a sex offender once, but he quickly was categorized as NOT one of My People once I discovered his placement in the local registry randomly while searching my cousin's address on Google. He had given me a false name, of course. And his new smartphone upgrade. And lots and lots of roses. And nothing else, if you know what I mean.

With so many humans living out their lives on our planet that we share, there is no shortage of opportunities to bump into your next fated addition to the coven of Your People. You have me here writing to you today, for example. Every week, I invite you and everyone else to join in this happy little community of wellbeing-seekers searching for means to thrive in this world.

With all of that being said, it can sometimes be less-than intuitive to know how to go about identifying exactly who our unique type of people are, and how to nurture this network of our kindreds. Consider this brief checklist of action items as guidance for cultivating new friendships with your peers:

1. Be Open and Approachable: Smile, make eye contact, and show genuine interest in others. Make it easier for others to approach you and be in your presence.

2. Join Groups or Clubs: Participate in activities or organizations that interest you to meet like-minded individuals. The Lovely Little Crisis community here is a great option!

3. Initiate Conversations: Start with small talk and gradually move to deeper topics as you get to know each other. Some people need a little encouragement before they can begin to be open to the possibility of friendship. I am one of those types of people.

4. Be a Good Listener: Show empathy and understanding by actively listening to what others have to say. Everyone loves to feel this type of relation and understanding.

5. Follow Up: Keep in touch and make plans to meet up again to strengthen the bond. The recipient could be delighted by your effort and be encouraged to extend friendly gestures of their own.

6. Be Yourself: Authenticity helps in forming genuine connections. When you’re authentically being yourself, it invites others to feel comfortable doing the same.

Hopefully, by opening yourself up to the possibilities of encountering new friends along your life's journey, you'll soon find yourself in good company.

That's all for this week. Talk again soon!