Can You Even Feel as Great as I Do Right Now?
Hint: you CAN
Wednesdays are long days for me…
What I mean is that I wake up early (which I'm otherwise not required to do because I'm a SAHM) and don't return to a state of rest until the sun is setting and I'm all spent. I do have time to think, though. Plenty of time actually. I think all day long while I'm out with both of my children between school pick-up time and their therapy visits.
I very efficiently tend to think about the things that trigger my anxiety the strongest first. And then this often transforms into me regretting the fact that I am not being more productive at that moment, that I'm not maximizing the potential of my available time.
OR, if I do happen to be crushing it at tackling what's on my To-Do list in record time that day, I'll instead regret not being a more present Mom placed inside of my home.
On occasion, I'll even regret the progress that I've made (or not made) in my client work with its various deadlines always approaching from every angle...
Considering this, it almost feels as if I'm living in a world that doesn't allow me to easily experience the feelings of contentment and especially joy. Like the baseline standard of emotion is this level of dissatisfaction that I've spent years learning to become more and more tolerant of…
Well, I'm making it my personal mission to break-up that reality as of yesterday:
I've been very intentionally feeling gratitude and projecting my positive emotions outward strategically. (Watch this video about Neville Goddard's teachings to learn more woo things and join me in this experiment!) After only a few hours, I started to become aware of synchronicities popping up, and this just encouraged me to continue my little game with the Universe even more.
Today, I bought a bottle of blackberry wine, which is my favorite and is also conveniently on sale at Kroger (you’re welcome). I don't intend to share any with my husband because I don't have to and I'm not harming anyone in the process. I consider it to be making a deposit into my "Joy Bank" and an act of Self Care.
I also recently invested in a program to become a "Certified Business Process Specialist", and I regret nothing... I'm nearly finished with the course material and the assignment submissions, and I can't wait to use this new title to better describe my role in my business here soon! It will do wonders for my public credibility and trust factor.
And I've been drinking my favorite variety of Gatorade, Frost: Glacier Cherry, like they're being given away for free... and they are NOT, by the way. My extremely excessive thirst gets the best of me at odd times, and this is even after consulting with my Doctor about it.
It's the next day by now, as I once again come to sit at my desk in attempt to finish up this email of mine.
And I've managed to add a To-Go order of Angry Dragon sushi rolls and a cute $19 handbag (in the perfect shade of brown) to my Joy Bank as well... (...FINE, I'll go ahead and admit it... I bought a set of fancy silver rings for myself too. My husband only chuckled about it, so my guilt is completely erased.)
Just minutes ago, I told Mr. Patrick that I had nearly forgotten about how good and energizing it feels to be extra kind to myself. I actually feel very content. Today, my type of kindness happens to look like blackberry wine, sushi rice, and brown vegan leather handbags. On days before, it has looked like a Dean Koontz book or Irish Cream flavored milk in my coffee.
Sometimes, it's simply a shower and a promise to myself to keep placing one foot in front of the other one.
I don't ever want to forget how good being good to myself feels. When the world feels like there's a shortage of pleasant moments out there to experience, I want to find my strength to create some of my own to have and even to share. I thank you right now for allowing me this chance to share a moment of mine with you.
And if you're feeling a deficit of good-feeling moments in your own world currently, hear this from me: You already have everything you need in order make up some your own. And your moments don't have to look like mine or anyone else's. They just have to harmlessly and authentically feel good to you.
If it's a hot tea with lemon and fresh flowers in a vase for you, then great! If it's real punk music, your pet cats, and perfume, then that sounds perfect to me too (and you also have great taste)! And if you have forgotten what that feel-good moment looks like for you, then please feel free to let me know so that we can brainstorm new ideas together. I'd honestly love that.
So, with a new smile on my face, I wish you many, many, MANY opportunities to experience the things in this life that make you feel as good as and even better than I do right now. Tell us all about them in the comments, and I'll meet you there.
Let's contentedly talk again later my Friend.
Cheniece Patrick
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